Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
