It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
