I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
