the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
