it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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