I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
