Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
