That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
