He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize