Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
