i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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