drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
