Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Your cock deserves a montage
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize