Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
