just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
