I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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