it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
