well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
