WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
