I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
