that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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