this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
