dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
