My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
