at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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