the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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