drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
The Olympian is in my bed
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
