Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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