I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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