I just made out with a guy for $7.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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