meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize