Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
