You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
