I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
