:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
