If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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