woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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