i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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