Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
