Got a toothbrush?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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