woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
