I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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