Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You may now shotgun with the bride
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
