Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
