You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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