Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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