got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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