You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
