Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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