Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
As shirtless as possible
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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