So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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