with your own penis?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
