I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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