people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize