College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
