I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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