Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
My life is pants optional.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize