These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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